God did not create sex just for procreation or to have children. God created sex for a husband and wife to enjoy. He made us male and female so that we could enjoy each other within the confines of marriage for intimate relations. When Adam and Eve were both naked, they were not ashamed. They came together in the union of marriage and must have certainly enjoyed sex. The old Victorian and middle Ages belief that sex was evil was completely off the mark from what God teaches in the Bible. If we read the Song of Solomon, we can see that marital relations are ordained by God. It is not wrong for husband and wife to enjoy one another and that is how we grow closer together.
The Song of Solomon is rightly named for when a man and woman love one another, they feel like singing. In Song of Solomon 1:2-4 we read, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers.” In verses 10 he writes “Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels…my beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts (13) [and] how beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant” (vv 15-16). Clearly, these two are passionately in love and it is not wrong to desire your spouse as long as this relationship remains private. There is little doubt that this man was in love, writing that she is “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women” (2:2) and she responds “My beloved is mine and I am his” (2:16).
The Marriage Bed is Undefiled
What did the writer of Hebrews mean when he wrote “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Heb 13:4)? I believe that he is contrasting sexual immorality and adultery with marriage being honorable as long as sexual relations stay between husband and wife. If sex remains within the confines of marriage, it is honorable, but outside of the marriage bed, God will judge those who are sexually immoral or commit adultery. Solomon tells husbands to “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life” (Eccl 9:9) and “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love” (Prov 5:18-19). What a joy it is to have a faithful marital relationship for there is no such intimacy and joy that can be enjoyed between those who are not married.
